One day, just over twenty years ago, Hugh Grant swore on film in a posh accent.

    "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck! Bugger," mumbled the Englishman in dialogue penned by acclaimed writer Richard Curtis. Western culture changed forever in one moment; we all seemingly came to the conclusion that there is nothing funnier in the entire universe than simply spouting swear-words.

   Since Grant's outpouring, Hollywood has cottoned on to the notion that if it swears, it sells. Look, for example, at Ted - a movie about a stuffed toy that uses taboo language! The whole world guffawed because we all know that teddy bears aren't supposed to swear, right?! Oh, my. Look at Dirty Grandpa too - the joke here, of course, is that elderly people are expected to be much politer than they are in this film. Our expectations were confounded and, as such, hilarity must ensue.

   This leads onto the latest example of this such genre - Deadpool. Kids love superheroes: who the heck would expect them to swear and be rude? As such, our expectations are confounded, etc., etc. Can you imagine how funny it would be for a superhero to order a drink called a "blow job"?


    So, with regards to the Ryan Reynolds-starring movie, the question to ask is - do you find bad language funny in and of itself? If so, this will be your favourite movie perhaps of all time. There's nary an actual, properly constructed joke in the entire feature but, oh the bad manners! Your sides will split as more than one character drops the f-bomb! And its really loud too!!!

   Sadly, if you think comedies should be funny, that jokes should contain humour, that action should be thrilling, that cinema should be exciting, then this is not even approaching something I can recommend. This is horrible. Really, truly horrible.

   Everything about Deadpool feels like it has been market researched into oblivion - remember how Guardians of the Galaxy featured retro music selections to hint at an inherent playfulness? You can check that off the list of ham-handed things Tim Miller's movie has appropriated (see, also: the forthcoming Suicide Squad as equally guilty of this if the trailer is anything to go by). This feels very much like the type of movie made by a committee of naughty twelve year olds in the 1980s - the one thing that's missing is for Ryan Reynolds, an actor who has never been so wooden or weasely as he is here, to shout "Cowa-fucking-bunga" at some point.

   The saddest thing about this movie is the fact that it provides testament to Hollywood no longer need to try to achieve quality in its quest for money - instead, all that is necessary is the employment of a known comic book character to raise guaranteed profits. Comic devotees who will consume everything related to graphic novels and teenagers who don't care about plot will run out of multiplex screens, fingers in their ears to criticisms, happy that they didn't have to think too much and that someone on-screen swore a couple of times and that there was some explosions. Who needs morals or a point of any kind when CG violence can take up space in our mind?

   Whilst Marvel are consistently creating movies ranging from decent to brilliant (excluding the odd clangers such as the Thor series), its an insult to comic book fans and to the very medium of cinema itself that Deadpool exists as it does. But, when we eagerly consume filmic spam like this, why would studios spend the time and money to create a feast? The title sequence which suggests the feature was made by "ass-hat" producers and an over-paid director is a truthful acknowledgement that many American movies are taking the piss out of gullible audiences who will watch anything. It is our own fault that we remain intellectually malnourished whilst Hollywood dines on the money we surrender to them.

   Our own faults and that, too, of Hugh Grant. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck! Bugger," indeed.