Film Review: Giant Spider Invasion

   There are certain films in which the title tells you everything you need to know about them. Usually if a film can state the entire plot in three or four words, if the title can pretty much act as a pitch, then the audience is aware of what they are going to get.  Snakes on a Plane  is an example. As is  Snakes on a Train . Anybody expecting to see  La Regle du Jeu  at a movie with a title like that will be sorely dissapointed. Invariably these films will have no budget, absurd dialogue and a wafer thin plot punctuated with plot holes galore. Yet if the viewer can appropriately lower their expectations of what they are about to see, these films can be a lot of fun. In the instance of  Giant Spider Invasion , however, this is not the case. No matter how much expectations are lowered,  Invasion  will plunge deeper still as if playing a game of idiotic limbo. To state that a film called  Giant Spider Invasion  is a feature that fails to live up to the low standards that its title implies would be a hyperbolic understatement. It is an embarrasment, it is fun free dirge, a waste of time not even worth exploring as a piece of kitsch.
   Whilst the poor effects are no better, nor worse, than its filmic peers, what Giant Spider Invasion seems to lack is any sense of focus. B-movies generally work best when their absurd plots are treated with either po-faced piety or with a tongue in cheek embrace of their limitations. Invasion scuttles back and forth in tone, existing in a purgatory of banality neither humorous nor interesting. Some films, that take years to make, are called labours of love. This appears to be a very rare beast – a feature that just happens to have happened. I am not sure, off the top of my head, when the last time was I had such a joyless experience watching a movie. Having pondered for some time, I am not sure why this film exists. The people involved in making this film must surely feel the same way.

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